Bike Paths and Changes

Eventually we all feel the changes. Our landscape, our lives, our world. This morning I took my dog DD on a walk that I had probably taken a thousand times in the past forty years. Most of them with Dave, holding his hand, and talking about our lives. I highly recommend walking with your partner. Talk about everything while there are no distractions, no cars, no children, no phones - just walk and talk. Well this morning I went back to an old dirt road that we walked together so many times, and guess what? The old dirt road is gone. It's been widened and paved, and I didn't recognize it. It reminded me that my partner is gone, our walks have ceased, and life as I knew it  - changed just like that old dirt road. It's been swept clean. I'm trying to adjust to the paved path. The new and improved bike trail will accomedate numerous bikers and hikers. It's close to the National Sea Shore. I'm trying to stay positive, but sometimes changes are not for the better. I didn't meet one bike or one person while on the new and improved road. Maybe that's another plus. I am after all a solitary person. I just miss what was once so familiar. The scrub pine and oak has been pushed back, the big ruts and holes filled in, and holding hands while walking, gone in the blink of an eye.
I spend more time writing, visiting girlfriends, playing with grandkids, but the essence of that comfortable old road is missing. I get satisfaction from my memories. They sustain me and writing about Dave, like that old road is part of a memory now.
In other news: Sharks, pond scum, and plankton blooms, just enough to give one pause and reflect on the many changes in our world. I try to keep the faith in all things. As the saying goes: This too shall pass.Winter will follow autumn, death will follow life, and change is the only constant.
So the new Crowley mystery has got me excited. Title: Watch for the Crow. What do you think of this? The nickname the Crow has been given to the chief by local youth. Two teen boys find a body in the dunes and Chief Crowley must find the killer. I see the story in my head. I've got the beginning and the why, the who, the where, what and when. If I work like crazy, I think it will be ready next spring.
The trouble with writing and self-publishing is that I haven't broken even yet. The last book cost more than I've made so far. I'm about halfway. It's great for tax purposes, a business loss.   I'm going to have to make some changes, find a different way to make my books a business. My problem is that I just want to write, I hate marketing it myself and of coarse it costs money, so there goes any profits. What I figure is that I'll just keep writing and somehow marketing and publicity will eventually find its way to me. Not a very good strategy, I know, but as long as I can still pay the bills, I'll just keep writing.
I had an opportunity to read from my manuscript, Arethusa. I read chapter 4, Swimming and Racing to a friendly group in Provincetown. I think the crowd was pleased. I did a book signing at the Whydah Museum last week. So I can say I did do some marketing. I don't push myself as much as I could. Being a writer is solitary, an introverts ideal job. While marketing is really the opposite, pushing yourself is so difficult for me. I guess I'm that introvert.

July 2019 - Those lazy days of summer are here, bare feet, no coats, and dips in the salt water. I'm a sun child, a Leo, so hot temperatures don't seem to bother me. I do stay quiet, drink lots of water, and keep the fans going. And I hope everyone is heeding the weather warnings and being safe. With the heat wave comes indoor time so I am catching up on writing skills, via on-line classes while working on two books, "Arethusa" and "Watch for the Crow" (a third in the James Crowley series) I try to work everyday at writing but also reading and learning. Not a bad way to spend my time.  I get to do things with the grandkids as well. We've been to ponds, pools, ocean and bay.  The young ones are always fun. Trying to keep up with them keeps me growing. They teach me about our environment, about todays music, and they show me new ways to use my phone. Thanks to my thirteen year old granddaughter I'm taking Portuguese lessons from an app called Duolingo.

I'm still amazed at how much time computers can suck out of your day. I don't mean looking up interesting facts, ordering a pair of shoes, or even viewing photos on FB or Instagram. I mean trying to figure out how the thing works, like copy and paste, or preview, or add a label or what the heck is a hashtag anyway. I spent the entire morning trying to figure out how to send ten pages from my book-  out in an email. I looked it up on U-tube, then asked my own computer in the 'help' column, then found something on Google that led me to another page that gave me an answer. But when I tried, it didn't work. So back to the drawing board and guess what? I had the wrong email address, so now problem solved.

My son Bob brought me my first Fluke of the season. Wow is that fish just the best eating that's ever been. This past week has brought  suppers of seafood delight. Family and friends came for a visit and we ate: clams (steamers, quahogs, little necks) We ate oysters, shrimp, cod, and Fluke. Each meal has been exceptional, a gift from the sea. Bless those fishermen, clammers, and growers. I'll be looking forward to my next seafood meal. My sister arrived for a ten day visit. We haven't been together since I drove to Florida in 2017.  She hasn't been on the Cape since Dave's funeral, 2016. It's been a great visit, lots of good food, good friends, and good memories. We planned a dune ride for this evening, with beach fire and clam bake, but the fire and clambake on the beach has had to be cancelled because there is no access to the beach because of the nesting Piping Plovers. Bummer. Hopefully next year or maybe after all the birds have flown. I love the birds, love watching their skinny little legs scurry across the sand, love watching them skim the top of the water. I can wait.

So far it has been a supper summer. Lots of tourists, lots of heat and lots of sharks. I'm an avid ocean swimmer and this is the first year I'm not comfortable going to Head of the Meadow to ride the waves. I've only been in the ocean two times this year. I keep hearing the music from Jaws in my head and that doesn't make for a relaxing swim.  Evolution, change, global warming, it's the way of the world. The sharks have always been there, but now I'm very aware of them. And so we change with the changes. Adjust the set of our sails, swim in a pool instead of the ocean and leave the sharks to feed on the seals. Stay safe, warm and dry dear friends.  Fair Winds.

There seems to be a lull, a quiet time in my life that I've chosen to fill with writing and searching for that spark of inner peace that is so illusive in this modern day, fast paced world. I have taken to listening to TED talks. I would highly recommend them to all. The subjects are varied, the speakers interesting, the talks entertaining. There's a category for almost anything you can think of. I've listened to stories about personal growth, art, education, and technology. These fifteen minute talks have renewed my faith in man. They have restored my soul, given me inspiration, and educated me on many new and different levels. Instead of watching some banal tv show or playing another computer game, I'm letting my grandchildren ages 13,11 and 9 watch talks on floating cities, robots, stage sculptures, air quality, health and science.  The app is free. The talks are fascinating and its better than anything on TV. I began watching them when I was browsing the book by Chris Anderson about how to give a TED talk. I thought it might help me when I give my author reading speehes. And they have. But the best part of the book is how it made me curious to hear one of the talks. The first talk that I listened to was Michelle Kuo on the Healing Power of Reading. Wonderful story. The talk that brought me to tears and helped me most, was Nora McInery- "We don't "move on" from grief, We move forward with it." This TED talk has helped with my deep sorrow. After the tears I realized that I still had life ahead of me.  I think I want to get an electric bicycle. I want to learn a language, I want to move into the future and take my love for Dave with me. Maybe I'll get to travel with my grandchildren. Maybe I'll write more books. Thanks to Ms. McInery I feel more alive.
It's mind boggling to encounter such remarkable people who are helping to build a better society. If you aren't interested in social change, how about giant squid, or black holes. There are talks about this as well.
I will be joining other speakers at the Harbor Lounge, Commercial St. in Provincetown on Friday June 28th  between 2 and 4pm. I will be reading chapter 4 Swimming and Racing, from my yet to be published work entitled: "Arethusa"  The reading is part of the Provincetown Portuguese Festival. My favorite weekend at the tip of Cape Cod.  Portuguese music, dancing, food, boats and parades fill the most beautiful place in the world. I love Provincetown.
I hope to see you there. Wishing you festive days and fair winds.

How about a poem today?  I remember I was working with children, teaching health classes, when I woke in the middle of the night and wrote this poem. I think the kids had an effect on me.

For the Young at Heart
There's a magic place so of't forgot
Where no line is drawn between real and not
How I happened there I'll ne'er understand
But I found myself in Elften-land
T'is seen on the horizon at dawn's first light
To those with perfect, fearless sight.
Most often they laugh then call you a fool
Whimsy and mirth are favorite tools
An elf will tell you, we don't comprehend
What it means to have an Elften friend.
A slight disbelief and they won't appear
Then the magic words you'll never hear
With them you meet the most bizarre
As you journey beyond the farthest star.
They live in the realm between time and space
And you'll never find a more wondrous place
The deeper you go the more shallow it gets
And to catch your fancy there's a variety of nets.
Elfs sprinkle star dust in your eyes
And have you laughing at all their lies
So if you're around when an elf comes by
Ask him to teach you how to fly

WOW, another speaking engagement. Truro Library, May 14, 2019 at 6:30.  I'm excited, a little nervous, but mostly I'm looking forward to the event. Someone asked me how I can get up in front of a room full of people and talk. Well I just remember the very first time that I had to speak in front of a group. That was a long time ago and probably the worst experience of my life. I was the school nurse in Truro at the time and had to talk to a group of sixth grade boys about reproduction. I was so nervous. I blushed, my hands were wet, and I stuttered. They asked me the most intimate questions about sex. I'm sure they had talked it over before the class and decided what they would ask. I got through it. The following years were much easier and I was more prepared for what twelve year old boys could throw at you. Since then talking to adults has been a piece of cake. They don't ask questions that make me blush. Not that it's easy, its not. Just as with the health classes there is preparation, thinking, planning. But at my age and with the number of times I have had to speak in public it has become more fun.
I don't want to read from my book. I think most adults can read it for themselves so I will tell a couple of stories that hopefully will be entertaining, enlightening, and enjoyable. My granddaughter will join me at the front table to assist with any book sales and I hope there are a few. I think she's more nervous than I am.
I continue to write. I'm working on two books. Depending on my mood, how much time I have, and what new ideas have occurred, determines what book I work on. The Arethusa is a memoir.  I love writing about the days of youthful enthusiasm. David at the helm of the forty-five foot yawl as we flew across the water on a wing and a prayer. The memories bring him back to me. I can see him and sometimes feel his presence when I write about him. Until recently I had a difficult time with that, I'd just cry, but now it's a pleasure to be able to reach into the past and bring him back. The stories are mostly fun. We were so innocent and unprepared for the real challenges that sailing brings. But it was such an adventure.  My life has been full of adventure. I wouldn't trade any of it, even the most frightening, life changing experiences. I'm going to tell a story at the library tomorrow about an adventure I had with Dave. The day we caught the thousand pound tuna fish. What a day, what an adventure that was.

Spring is the busiest time of the year.  Everyone around here is getting ready for the summer tourist season. I'm cleaning out, painting the deck furniture, raking leaves, sprucing up the flower beds, trying to keep up with grandchildren, and writing in my spare time. I like a routine, stretching, walking the dog, and unless there are appointments, lose myself in another book. Although I read daily, afternoon and evening, I mean I get to write that book. I write as soon as I can get to the computer. I've begun another adventure, going back in time to 1938. Watch for the Crows is the title. There will be fishermen, some history about the town, some fun, maybe romance, but the main thrust is the murder.  James Crowley is back. I realize now that this fantasy man of mine is a cross between David Dutra and Tom Selleck. He's the town cop, the man who solves mysteries, and the man of my dreams. Visit Provincetown before WWII, when a telephone operator knew where your mother was, when cars were were just beginning to crowd the narrow streets during the summer months, when people spent their leisure time listening to the radio, when the country was coming out of a great depression, and when war on the other side of the world was hardly noticed by most Americans. It takes time to write a story.  It has to have a good beginning, an interesting middle, and a surprise ending, and as with the adventures I've had throughout my life, I'll keep the faith.  For faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I want to invite everyone to the Truro Library on May 14, 2019 at 6:30 for a meet and greet. I will be speaking about adventure and how I came to write.  The adventures in my life have taken me to mountain tops in Mexico, the Pyramids of Giza, the Monasteries of Metore in Greece, but some of my best adventures were with my husband onboard the F/V Richard & Arnold. Adventure comes in many forms. Reading can take you on an adventure and writing is where my imagination takes me when I let go. It is my adventure. Wishing you the best and fair winds.